Call me Kelly. That's a little bit like "Call me Ishmael." Except I'm using Kelly instead of Ishmael. That's completely appropriate because if I used "Call me Ishmael" then I would be a plagiarist, a liar and, quite possibly, schizophrenic. I try to be semi-original.
Twenty-five random things you never wanted to know:
1. I have lived in seven states and have moved over 30 times (Note:
This includes EVERY time I've packed up my worldly belongings and moved
to a new place of residence, so college moves count, too!). I have
lived in North Carolina, South Carolina, Florida, Connecticut, Colorado,
California, and Hawaii.
2. I went to the Colorado/Wyoming State
Spelling Bee in 7th grade. I dreamed of the National Bee but, alas,
natural talent only gets you so far.
3. I gained over 60 pounds with
each of my two pregnancies! :) THANK GOODNESS I dropped it (mostly). I
viewed pregnancy as a license to eat. I was huge and NOT one of those
pretty pregnant women.
4. I am terrified of squirrels. Seriously. Terrified.
Until I was in my mid-twenties, I HATED approaching anyone who worked
in retail to ask where an item was. I refused to do it and would wander
around the store aimlessly looking for whatever random item I needed. I
can't ever get those hours back.
6. I hate to ask for help. For
anything. I will carry a 100-pound box up three flights of stairs and
stare death/paralysis in the eye before I will ask anyone to help me.
I didn't meet my biological father until I was 36-years-old. He's
actually a pretty terrific guy. And I have at least TWO half-sisters,
one of whom I met and I like very, very much.
8. I love to eat beef bullion cubes. Mmmm, salty.
I fulfilled a lifelong dream of performing in NYC...it was
improv, not Broadway, but, hey, it totally and completely counts.
10. I don't have a spleen. I was born with one, but it had to go. I can never, ever give blood because of it.
I had a GIANT mole next to my eye until I was 27. I decided it was
time to remove it when I went to see the doctor for my cough and he
walked in and said "So, you're here to remove that mole?" Small children
were actually frightened of it. Sweet.
12. I threaten my children with military school if they ever become immune to my discipline at home.
I am not a hugger. I LOVE people who hug and I would like to become
one. I am working on it. I'm practicing on my kids...'cause kids need
hugs. Someday, I'll be able to hug grownups without restraint.
am addicted to Starbucks. Brewed in the store. The STAND-ALONE store,
not those rip-offs in Target and Harris Teeter. And it's a true
addiction. I panic when I can't get to it.
15. I've been to high-performance driving schools and drove my car very fast while wearing a helmet.
I took beginning ballet for gym in college and was pretty ticked off
that ALL the people in the class had been "taking" for years. How can
it be beginning ballet if you already know everything? I was the only
one who learned anything at all in that class.
17. I only like raw veggies.
I will eat sushi, mushrooms, mussels, oysters and every odd thing you
can think of but I will not eat potatoes or green beans...ever again.
When I was in the sixth grade, it was my goal to read every book in the
Young Adult section of the public library. We moved after I finished
"I am the Cheese" by Robert Cormier. So, I didn't get very far at all
in that library.
20. I have extra testosterone. It's in my medical files. That must be why I get along so much better with men than women.
21. I love Dr. Seuss and cried when he died.
I got out of a speeding ticket (20 miles an hour over the limit) one Halloween. I think it was because I was dressed like Wednesday
from the Addams Family and the police officer was frightened of me.
I have an incredibly good male friend who I have never kissed
and have slept in the same bed with without ANYTHING ever happening.
See? Men and women CAN be friends!
24. I am not afraid of aging. But I am afraid of losing my sense of humor.
My son is reading this and he said that he doesn't think I'll ever
lose my sense of humor. He thinks I'm funny even when I'm not trying to
be funny. Sweet.