Monday, September 23, 2013

We Should All Make Bucket Lists. Today.

“The only wishes that will ever change you are the kind that may, at any moment, eat you whole.”
                                                ― Janette Rallison

I woke with a start this morning at 3:18 a.m. trying to make sense of whatever garbled dream I had been having.  It isn't unusual for me to be wide awake in the pre-dawn hours but this morning's early rousing was accompanied by a slight panic state:

I still have SO MUCH LEFT TO DO.

People who are close to me know that I have no true fear of death.  It's why I can jump out of a plane without a second thought or walk alone in dark cities at 2 a.m.  It's why I'm OK with leaving doors unlocked (Attention potential burglars:  I no longer DO THIS.  Thing 1 gets annoyed when I don't lock the doors).  It's how I can make middle-of-the-night trips to that sketchy WalMart when I can't sleep.  It's not even that I'm not scared, though;  I relish the thought of dying.  I LOOK FORWARD to it because I think THEN...FINALLY...I will have all the answers.  I am NOTHING if not a Little-Miss-Wanna-Know-It-All.  The advent of the Google age has given me tremendous abilities to find answers to all of life's questions.

BUT...I'm not ready yet, according to this morning's brief panic attack. I still have a LOT left to do!  I'm not talking about places I need to go...those may number in the thousands; my travel bucket list is only limited by the fact that the world itself isn't infinite.  I'm talking about the STUFF I need to do.

Now, I HAVE been skydiving (once...and I WILL be going again...soon!), Rocky Mountain climbing (yes, I've been to the peak of Colorado's highest mountain) and I certainly went more than 2.7 seconds on that mechanical bull at Arizona Pete's.  But I have SO MUCH MORE to go! 

  1. Go on a cattle drive.  (What a fun thing to start the list with! I mean a REAL one...camping out under the stars on a roll of blankets and eating beans out of a tin can warmed on an open fire.)
  2. Speak at a commencement ceremony.  Even if it's only at the local old folks home for those people who graduated from basket weaving class.
  3. Speak more than just English.  My limited "necessito dos cervezas, por favor" doesn't count.
  4. Learn to fly fish.  In Alaska.  While high. (On LIFE.  Sheesh.)
  5. Take my kids on a cross-country adventure.  We've done the Northeast.  I need to be hardcore and take them all the way to the west coast.  In a car.
  6. Get my pilot's license. Tell everyone I have it.  Everyone.  Arby's drive-thru:  "Will that be all today?"  "Yeah, hey...did you know I have my PILOT'S LICENSE?"
  7. Talk to my kids about sex.  Again.  Ad nauseum.  Not because I haven't done it before but because they HATE IT SO MUCH it warrants doing over and over.
  8. Watch the stars out of one of those REALLY BIG telescopes.  Like the professional kind.
  9. Train to be an astronaut.
  10. Talk about running for president.  Develop a following.  Drop out before they discover that I wear ladies underwear.  (Oh, wait...that's OK, isn't it?)
  11. Live in a house that stays clean for longer than two days.  Once.
  12. Plan my funeral.  Include a disco ball and a recording of Whitney Houston singing "I Will Always Love You."  Ensure that fresh popcorn will be clowns.
  13. Hire a marching band to make some grand announcement.  (My life has never included an actual grand announcement.  Maybe I should make that next...)
  14. Figure out something grand to announce.
  15. Sleep the entire night for more than three days in a row.
  16. Get married in Vegas.  When I'm 70. 
  17. Tell CEO of Starbucks he has changed my life.  For good.  
  18. Take over loudspeaker at big box retailer.  Sing "Sweet Caroline."  Ask everyone to sing along.
  19. Get healthy.  Make it stick for more than a week. 
  20. Become a person who says, "I think I'd like that" instead of "OMG, that is the BEST IDEA EVER!" when someone asks if I'd like butter/sugar/to go to a movie.  I think the former type of person must be more stable in general.  Not that I would know.

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  1. I want to do 4 with you! And 15 is forever elusive, I fear :(

    1. OK! Let's get started right away! Regarding 15...I remain optimistic. There is always an Ambien addiction to look forward to...