Friday, April 5, 2013

Looking forward: A tongue-in-cheek perspective

“I look forward to being older, when what you look like becomes less and less an issue and what you are is the point.”
- Susan Sarandon

I am the kind of person who MUST have something to look forward to.  Sure, the things that I am doing right now are absolutely fabulous (unless I happen to be cleaning the toilet right now) but I really NEED something to dream about even if it is something that will never come to pass.  

I know you have ALL been DYING for a new blog post.  Don't worry, one is on its way later tonight.   Until then, keep working for the man, keep slaving away for your kids and try not to eat all the leftover Easter candy (yes, we all know you do it because we do it, too).

I am here to tell you that there IS something to look forward to.  Always.

  1. One day you will not care what you look like when you go to the grocery store.  That day may already be here.  It is for me.  I have been to the grocery store in pajama bottoms, a mismatched t-shirt and a ball cap on my unwashed head.  I don't even care if I run into someone I know.  Actually, it's EVEN BETTER if I run into someone I know because then we both have a funny story to share with our friends about how on earth someone can possibly venture out looking so ridiculously unkempt and honestly not care about it.  When I was a teenager, I would have been horrified at myself.  Today?  Meh.
  2. Your children will grow up. (If you don't have children, you are already living the dream.)  Now, I realize there are mothers out there who get teary at the very thought of their tiny lovelies growing up and moving out.  But I think deep down they will celebrate the day when that car is loaded up and the laundry and the eye-rolling and the general chaos of life has stilled to a peaceful, manageable existence.  I adore my hoodlums, I really do.  But I have never regretted one step they have taken toward independence.  My job is to teach and to care for and to never, ever hold back.  They can go.  I'll be ready.  I am excited to know them as adults.
  3. Your butt will sag.  You may be wondering to yourself how on EARTH this could possibly be a good thing.  I am here to tell you this:  the day your butt (and/or your boobs) starts to sag is the day you can finally throw in the towel and realize that gravity WILL take effect and you don't have to compete at all with the 20-something, 30-something chickies who always look fit and fabulous.  I look forward to the day when my butt is dragging against the back of my kneecaps.  On that day, I will say "glory hallelujah, pass me that chocolate cake" and I will begin my old-age adventure of drinking, smoking and tanning until I look and smell like a crispy piece of dried-up, saggy old bacon because no one will care what I look or smell like at that point.  I will also know that I can then begin to say EXACTLY WHAT I THINK.  (Scared now, arentcha?)
  4. This, too, shall pass.  Whatever it is you are going through at this point in your life is going to end.  It may end well or it may end badly but just know that whatever it is, you can make it through it.  It won't last forever.  It CAN'T last forever because eventually you'll die.  :)  How happy of a thought is THAT?  But seriously, life goes in cycles.  There are ups and there are downs.  And it just won't last forever.  It can't.  Keep your chin up, sister, and keep pedaling. 
So, even if you have nothing else, you can look forward to my odd and rueful musings later tonight.  Or you can look forward to the new season of Mad Men.  Or you can look forward to the idea of a world where all the laundry is always clean, folded and put away.  Just keep your eyes up. 

What do you look forward to?  

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