Friday, May 3, 2013

Death Wish or Avoidance? You pick!

“I love running. I’m not into marathons, but I am into avoiding problems at an accelerated rate.
― Jarod Kintz

The end is near.

Nope, I'm not talking about the world.  I'm talking about me.  I have developed some sort of...abnormality...on my face.  And it's GROWING.  I think it's going to sprout legs at any moment and walk off my face like a toddler.

My face has a new growth.  It's disgusting.
It's huge.  And it's nasty.  And it's NEW.  I'm like a mutant creature growing some sort of biological-warfare-wanna-be on my FACE. 

But I'm not going to the doctor.

  • He told me to stay away from the sun.  As in, the sun will KILL me like a ninja warrior kind of stay away from the sun.  I just don't want him to look at me all sad and disappointed like a father whose daughter stayed out all night with the local farmhand.  And I just got that horrible sunburn.  And my freckles are standing out right now in technicolor so he'll KNOW about the sunburn.  I am SO EMBARRASSED.  And obviously not a good listener.
  • What if he has to SCRAPE it OFF?  That might hurt.  And suck.  And then I'll have a big bandage on my face and I'll have to tell people I got into a knife fight to avoid saying something about how my face apparently is growing mutant toddlers.
  •  I will take my chances with this weirdness.  It will go away.  Or it will grow and I'll have a conversation piece as people I meet awkwardly try to keep their gaze on my eyes instead of on the weird growth on my face.
You see it, right?  It's right there by my ear.  I looked at it last night in the magnifying side of my make-up mirror.  That's another thing altogether.  My skin in a magnified make-up mirror looks like it's about 800 years old and something Neil Armstrong would recognize from his stroll on the moon. Holy crap.

You're right.  Let's just not think about it and hope that it will go away.  

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