Thursday, May 9, 2013

North Vs. South

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”
― C.S. Lewis

I have an amazing friend we'll call Northern Nancy. I met her many, many moons ago when I had the great misfortune to live in the Northeast.  (OK, no offense to the northeast intended but I was honestly so miserable living there..I would walk into work each day and say "WHY do you people LIVE HERE?")  Northern women are very, very different from Southern women.   My Northern Nancy is one of my very best friends ever AND the very best part about her is that I always know where I stand with her.  If I'm an idiot, she tells me I'm an idiot.  If I need to come in out of the rain, she either hands me an umbrella (she's practical like that) or she tells me to get my ass in out of the rain.  (In those exact words.)

Northern Nancy and I have had a great many Great Adventures over the years and our lives often follow eerily similar paths.  We even once dressed as McDonald's french fries and a McDonald's shake for Halloween.  We are THAT connected that we would totally be fast food together. We accidentally ended up at Niagara Falls once after a madcap adventure that included running out of gas on the side of a highway, being confronted by a very weird dude who came out of the woods, a speeding ticket and an incident of ash burning my thigh (I thought it was the sun).  We both have On-Again-Off-Again issues and we both are unbelievably talented professionals who are sadly unappreciated.  We have regular gripe-fests about various issues but TONIGHT I won the biggest loser contest.  I rock.  I am a FAR bigger loser than she is tonight although I'm sure she'll take her turn later.

I love Northern Nancy.  (She'll hate that because she's more private than most nuns.)

Here are the best parts about having a close Northern friend:

  1. If you look like crap, she'll tell you.  There are no mincing words.  She once took me shopping so that I would look "put together" because she was convinced that Omar The Tent Maker was my tailor.  She'll say "What is THAT giddy-up you've got on?  You need to try again."
  2. You know that everything she says to your face is the exact same thing she'll say behind your back.  Northern friends are very honest.   To you.  And to others.
  3. She always has your back.  If someone is talking trash about you, she won't join in.  She will tell them to mind their own business and then she'll tell you that they were talking trash.
  4. She'll bring you into her inner circle.  Once you have a really good Northern friend, you are friends for life.  She'll introduce you to her family and her best friends.  And you'll FEEL like you've always been a part of her life.  She's awesome like that.
  5. If she has a problem with you, she'll tell you.  If I'm being a jerk, she'll say "What crawled up your ass and died today?" (or something like that).  If I'm not talking to her, she'll say "I know something's wrong because you're hiding." 
  6. She's always fun to talk to.  EVEN when you're both having a totally crappy day/week/life, she'll always find the side that's FUNNY.  You'll end every conversation feeling WAY better than when you started.
  7. She would do anything for you.  I KNOW for a fact that if I really needed her, she would be here.  If I said to her, "I need you...please get here any way you can" then she would set about doing that very thing as soon as possible.She's kind of amazing that way.
 I don't have many close friends.  I am far more guarded about my friend-heart than you might imagine.  But I love some Northern Nancy.  I firmly believe that we create our own families in life...and even though I'm a FAR bigger loser than she is today...Northern Nancy rocks.

But I rule.  The South wins today, baby!

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