Friday, May 17, 2013

Operation Self-Esteem (Or How I Am Going to Rue the Day I Ever Embarked on a Self-Improvement Kick)

“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That's the only thing you should be trying to control.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

I fear I have made an error.  My New and Improved Life Plan begins on Monday and already I am beginning to dread it deep within my very bones.  I'm serious.  My bones are actually aching RIGHT NOW.

Sparky wants me healthy so he doesn't have to drag me up trails.
 I have asked a good friend of mine to assist me with my New and Improved Life Plan: Step 1 which is Getting Into Kick-Ass Shape.  This friend of mine is a veritable Jack Bauer when it comes to physical fitness. As in, he might ACTUALLY chop one of my fingers off if I don't work as hard as he wants me to.  I have given him a time frame of four months to help me shed pounds and become one Hot Mamacita.  Because, obviously, in four months I will be the amazingly stable, mentally healthy, emotionally buoyant, physically fit specimen that you can't wait to set your eyes on.  I intend to Rock It.  Whatever "it" is.

BUT, here's the thing.  I'm COMFORTABLE right now.  I had an evening out...I'm sitting here in my recliner watching The Gilmore Girls and drinking wine and considering eating those Oreos that are in the kitchen purchased for the hoodlums' lunches (because they REALLY don't understand WHY they ALWAYS have to have HOMEMADE cookies).  If I truly commit to the New and Improved Life Plan then I will HAVE to truly commit. Once I make up my mind about something, then it's all over but the crying...usually MY crying.


Can I DO THIS?  Am I READY to commit to the New and Improved Life Plan?  Once I'm committed to the New and Improved Life Plan it will mean I have to eat healthier AS A LIFESTYLE not a diet and I will have to kick my cardio into high gear.  I might even have to partake in Before and After photos.  And invest in more sports bras.  And probably some new workout shoes.  (Because, naturally, it's ALL about the accoutrements.)


That's the question, isn't it?  I am working on so many facets of my life right now.  And I honestly think that sometimes you have to TEAR the building DOWN in order to build something stronger.

I'm ready.  I can commit to ridding myself of old patterns, destroying bad habits and launching into a new, healthier me.  Let's call her Kelly 3.0 (because SURELY I'm on at least the third version of myself by now).  

(Darn it.  I HATE it when I go public with a plan.)

Are you getting healthy?  Tips? Tricks?  I intend to use my modified 12-step-program that I use with EVERY bad habit I've rid myself of and I will take it one day at a time.

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  1. Here are my tips (I can feeel my co-workers rolling their eyes):
    1) watch "Food, Inc" and "FoodMatters". Read lots about nutritious food. You are a life-long learner and must be convinced from the brain out. And go talk more to that neighbor of yours.
    2) my co-workers and I always have a focus fruit or vegetable. It was Brussel sprouts for a while. We fixed them every which way and talked about it at lunch. (The reality is that I usually pick the focus fruit or vegetable and push it on them until we've exhausted the subject or they threaten to hurt me.). Sharing recipes using the same item (that we all keep stocked) is great.
    3) go to the farmers market! Go often!
    4) it is doesn't grow...don't eat it.
    5) I am going to assume you are not drinking soda, especially not diet.

    I am finished now. But I may be back. You have my attention.

    1. Can I move in with you while undergoing my healthy lifestyke transformation?

    2. BTW, I have a date with myself for the Farmer's Market today. AND i love the idea of having a "focus food!"

  2. Sure! I have a basement! Oh wait. It is currently occupied with the child that didn't do all his homework unless I sat right beside him, and even then, it was only the work I knew about. Oh, but that's another blog. Hooray for the Farmers Market. Broccoli is our focus right now. Strawberries are also good right now. By the way, one of those shows is in Netflix. Watch it. It is life changing!

    1. You're starting to depress me with this homework thing. But, yes, that IS another blog altogether. Tell him to move over and make some room 'cause I need nutritional guidance.

      Is the food show going to make me never eat another Pringle again? Because if that's true, I'm not sure I can stomach it (get it? STOMACH IT?).

    2. Oh yeah. Pringles don't grow. For a while, say goodbye to any food that doesn't grow.
      Eat protein, lots of it. And veggies and fruit. Lots and lots of veggies and fruit.
      Most other things need limits.